are you a fixer?

I’m not an advice giver. Most of the time I’m just trying to figure out my own stuff and feel like I’m not qualified to tell someone else how to live their life. If someone actually asks me for advice I will try to help. But, am I a “fixer”? No, not really, only in regard to my own stuff.

As a person with a myriad of personal quirks I can tell you one thing: you cannot fix other people or their “problems.”  If I can be blunt (which I can) nobody asked you to, either. Sometimes people try to “help” because of a perception they have about another person… that I can only assume they find to be a flaw. Who decides what is or isn’t a flaw, anyway? And, offering counsel to an acquaintance that hasn’t asked for it is not a great idea. If the goal is to actually help someone, that is. Now, if the goal is “putting yourself over”, or otherwise feed some kind of ego deficit… by all means… carry on.

We all have the same “problems” they just come packaged a little differently.  Being a friend to someone means accepting who they are. Even the “crazy” bits.

image via unsplash, by Oliver Pacas

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