be loved

Just now scrolled through my posts/drafts (whoa, I have 44 drafts saved) and found this song/cover/mashup I saved at some point for some reason. It’s pretty, yeah?

Things around here have been quiet. I’ve not felt “great”. Lots of icky things going on with my food issues. Which is why I’ve not posted… I hate only posting how well/not well I am or about the weather. That’s probably the reason there are 44 drafts in my blog folder. I don’t want to read that stuff, why would anybody else?

It took me all weekend to clean the house, including pets and then the refrigerator. I’m back to eliminating everything except protein, veggies and some fruit. Feeling better and tomorrow I’ll feel better than I do today, and so on. I’ve stopped beating myself up for making bad choices on Thanksgiving and then a week after that (not thinking at all and ate the WRONG thing). I know I cannot possibly be as hideous as I feel right now. There is just no way.

(and now for the weather report)

If the weather ever cools down I will use my Crockpot (pot roast, soup, chili… all that). It’s probably 75 degrees today… on December 14. That just doesn’t seem right.

(I feel like this post might have to go back into the drafts folder)   **bites into an apple**

When I feel **not good** and I can stay awake I usually straighten up the house or do my hair/nails; something that helps me feel better about stuff. Yesterday I flat-ironed my hair, it took a really looong time. It was a task that gave me space to think about stuff, and make decisions about how I would like the rest of 2015 to go. Honestly, I haven’t thought much about the new year at all… normally I would have half a notebook’s worth of plans/projects, but not this year. After I straightened my hair I took a nap. So, my hair was straight for all of 15 minutes. And I was okay with that.

What did I get out of this past weekend? I got some rest and was able to calm down about things not being awesome. I was reminded that softening my heart is always a better choice than punishing myself and that, mostly, it’s never dark for long. We’re probably not ever doing as badly as we think/believe we are.



Soften your edges, be the light in so much dark.

Image © Aimee McEwen, if shared please link back to post.

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